Anyone can be anything - in America!

I honestly am beginning to loathe society as a whole right now. The fact that anybody can be anything with the littlest amount of effort imaginable is unnerving. It is just an extra grain of sad that it is the world of sketch comedy that is hit the hardest. I mean, you produce one mildly amusing 3-minute clip and within the next handful of months, you have an agent, a booking company, and your own television program on a third-rate cable network. The American dream was founded around hard-working individuals becoming successes by doing honest labor, and busting their asses. Instead, you have a group of talentless clowns doing stuff a room full of monkeys can do.

The list of examples for this kind of stuff I have is rather limitless, but I'll do my best to throw as many out there as I can. And the first, and most annoying one to me, personally, are all these sketch comedy shows on the music networks, which I briefly alluded to in my introduction. Shows like "The Whitest Kids U' Know" and "Human Giant" are programs on FUSE and MTV, respectively, and each feature a band of idiots raping popular culture for its worth with videos that are more than likely part of the YouTube explosion. They're "witty," "edgy," and just so darned amusing that I must be the only guy in the world who doesn't find humor in it. Any of it.

I never thought I'd condemn YouTube, but I guess the time has come. What once was a place to watch illegally downloaded TV shows in 10 minute allotments, is now a place where moronic college kids without degrees, talent, or inherent ability could strut their proverbial stuff and make it to the big time. What the blog did for shitty writers (such as yours truly), YouTube has done for shitty actors.


Hey, isn't that the Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man? And that gap-toothed guy from Best Week Ever? And the guy I buy my scratch-off tickets from?

But back to these sketch comedy shows. The difference between a comedic clusterfuck (The Whitest Kids U' Know) and an American icon (Saturday Night Live) is that not everyone can do what the writers, actors, producers, et al can do on SNL. Yes, ever since Will Farrell left, the program's been in peril, but I'd taken 90 minutes of Amy Poehler and that hilarious Falconer fella over some untalented hacks any day of the week - especially Saturday.


The whitest hacks I know. Congrats, guys, you're doing what anyone else in the country can do.

However unfortunate these new YouTube-birthed shows are, they are not the only example justifying the phrase "anybody can be anything." As I lay in my bed this evening, I flipped on another FUSE-produced show called "Rad Girls," which I suppose is a female version of Jackass. While I appreciate how they didn't shoot for being "tough" by spelling their title "Girlz," their program isn't very good. In this suck-fest, three airheads (affectionately known as 'Munchie,' 'Ramona Cash,' and 'Darling Clementine') run around the city, pulling stunts on an unsuspecting public, and ingest various disgusting non-food items. And we have seen it all before, only done better by fellow idiots Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, and Steve-O. They were funny because it was as if they had no limits - something about running around a park, dumping creamed corn on yourself doesn't exactly sound too "tough." Just kind of pathetic. Women, if you're still wondering why you're not treated as equals, look no further than Rad Girls.


The tagline says it all. People only watch this show, nay, they only *have* a show because they have tits.

Just when will it end, dare I ask? You know Hollywood is scraping the bottom of the barrel when they resort to programs like these. It's only bothersome because I suppose I am actually earning my place in this world by going to college to earn a degree, with plans for graduate school soon after. A lot of money and effort is being put forth to ensure that I get to where I want to be. But hey, why even try to give an honest effort when I can just buy a video camera and fuck around with a few of my friends and chuck it on YouTube? My mother always told me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up, and in a way I suppose that is true. But with that comes effort, which the people behind these TV shows know nothing about.